BOHICA

Sometimes I really wonder what the hell happened to the world. Okay, okay, maybe it's not the world that's been changing lately but myself. When the slightest little thing makes me think of drowning puppies. Seriously. Have you been in the position of ever fucking hating the sun for rising in the morning? When sleep cannot cover enough hours in the day even when you sleep more than 10 hours at a time, the conclusion to be drawn is that you're perpetually FUCKED.

Nothing's the same, everything keeps changing and life sucks major monkey balls, yeah-yeah, life's a bitch, buy a pen. When your best friend seems like a stranger and nothing looks the same around the world, I think it's time for a new life decision: say... a little afternoon coma? Yeah... sounds delightful!

Ok so right about now, you're thinking "Oh she got screwed and now she'll sit here and bitch and moan about it to me, someone who has other better shit to be doing" Well... yes. Bingo. I feel like maybe I should pour myself a glass of wine, before I begin my ranting [to seem like an actual columnist] but I gave blood yesterday and I shouldn't have any alcohol in my blood stream, but alas I digress.

I'm not really sure what the fuck brought this on, but I miss the days when everything was simple. Nothing was extremely complicated and people didn't come with a full list of disorders ans guess what: their personal pharmacies. Now the average person comes equipped with Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, Phobias, PTSD, Night Terrors, Schizophrenia, Dyslexia, and my new favorite one is Bi Polar Disorders. If you're REALLY lucky said person can have ALL of the above mentioned, then you really know you have a winner. Humor me, and lets go through these together.

Depression: Well in the ol' days (say.... 10 years ago) depression wasn't spread around like the flu. You had the blues, you got the hell over them. No... now you see 4 therapists, take Prozac, Paxil (head's up it has hooooorrible sideffects) , Xanax, Lexapro, Abilify, Cymbalta, and many many more pills to make the people uuuuuuuuuuuuuuber happy.

If that doesn't get you out of bed in the morning, maybe Anxiety will. These days people have Social anxiety disorders, obsessive compulsive disorders, separation anxiety, closeness anxiety, sleep anxiety, driving anxiety, anxiety to get out of bed in the fucking morning in the fear that hell a large Wiely Coyote anvil will drop from the ceiling and drop on said person's fucking head thus revealing the world of one more fear driven person who somehow is supposed to do well in society. HA!

Insomnia is my newest best friend. Who would consider that drinking 12 packs of sodas a day, a variety of energy drinks, and about 16 cups of coffee and 3 gallons of chocolate A DAY would ever cause the body to overdose on caffeine and NOT power off for sleep. Hmmmm.... Man, we really need doctors to explain it all for us...

Phobias, PTSD, Night Terrors, Schizophrenia ... I'm not even gonna go into that.

Dyslexia. Oh yes. My child CANNOT spell correctly or read as well as other kids, but nooooo he's not stupid or slow... no... he's... he's... he's.... uh.... DYSLEXIC! Yes! I got it! Right. Give me a break.

Last, but by far not least, Bi Polar Disorder! A.K.A MOOD SWINGS. It's basically JUST an excuse to be a complete jackass/bitch/asshole [ why not say it like it is, it's my blogg ] to whomever the hell you please whenever the hell you please and STILL have an excuse. Yeah. Ok. NO ONE treats me like a psycho chicken on fucking crack and gets to talk to me again. Sorry. Fix the chemicals in your head with... chocolate.... yes. Chocolate makes the wooorld go round.

Life sucks and everyone's special. No losers only winners, no normal weights, but anorexic fucks with more eating disorders than pounds and brain cells. Oopsie, have I gone too far? When is it time to get over ourselves and take responsibility for our actions and grow a pair? Hm?

OH! And just when you think it's over and you canot POSSIBLY be fucked anymore.... nah.... Bend Over. Here It Comes Again!

Electronic Love

Sometimes we struggle to find what we're looking for. Whatever insignificant ideas and thoughts we can get our hands on would be more than welcome to compile this endless list of things we so desperately 'need'. I guess in the endless struggle to survive and be happy, whatever that means, we sabotage ourselves and become somewhat emotionally hollow.

"Distance from the ones we love" because getting hurt, well... hurts, and not many things can help fix this hurt. But then, distance hurts in of its own and thus provides no real salvation, just being stuck in an endless loop of shitty relationships that are endless and fucking emotionally draining.

No, today's society is a bullshit area in which everyone lives electronically. Saying "I love you" is sent through emails and slapped on to pretty much every idiot with a pulse in order for the one who says it to not break the person's spirits by alluding to some kind of lesser connection than love. I think this bullshit generation of people needs to turn off the laptops and go outside for a change and maybe, just maybe go on a real date.

Yes, I sound like a hypocrite typing about this on an online blog, and not helping the case any, but if you think about it, the generation I am sadly a part of defines love through a stupid relationship. No. Love is much more than what these children know, it's supposed to be unconditional in its passion and actions, but this generation loves only if they are loved in return.

The lucky ones, the ones that managed to grab a hold of a love so strong and so limitless are the ones who quickly turned bitter and cynical after the piece of heaven slid through their fingers. In a society in which you're either loving the hell out of everyone or hating everything there is little room for any middle ground. Getting hurt makes one turn bitter and reserved, which is again, socially unacceptable for a society that is brought up on Prozac and Paxil (WHICH now is known for some bad-ass side-effects). It's fantastic.

Oh and there's the part of people that let go of a love that was unconditional for some 'wine and a moan' and then realized "Oh Shit! I'm a dumbass" when it was a bit too late to take it back. Again, my advice is turn off the cellphone, shut down the laptop, unplug the TV and GO OUT.

Remember going out? Like we did when we were children? No prompting just "Can so-and-so come out and play?" and ended up messing around playing hide and seek or tag until we couldn't stand anymore. Remember how well we slept as children? Now we're a world of insomniacs that inhale anything in the form of melatonin and Xanax . What has the world come to?

When you love someone you open yourself up to suffering, that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself the same way. Those are the risks. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly.

Advice of the Day

Be loved but never love.
Attach, but never combine.
Trip but never fall.
To be broken is better than shattered.
Tell him of your strength, but never of your past.
Be trustworthy but never trust.
Be cracked but never open.

Welcome to my blog. Everything is written in dust.