Envy

I envy the way her lips press against your lips,
And the way the curve of her hips fits with your hips…
I hate how you found her, lying around waiting,
But I am aware, I don’t have a say in this.
Is she delightful? I’m sure that she is…
I bet she is delicate and so full of promise!

Do her eyes sparkle the way mine do?
Do her lips taste the same?
Do her words cut you, or is she tame?

I envy the time passed between our conversations,
Knowing you watch her with a different passion…
I hate how you hold her, how you kiss her goodbye,
I know when you’re truthful, but lately you lie.
I hope you are happy, now that you found this…
I will be gone now, that is my promise.

Oh Bore Me

Hello internet.  I'm actually not sure what exactly my rant is about this time [probably several things], the last few posts have been for the sake of not deleting my blog >.> That, and I've been a bit too busy to get annoyed. Let's discuss something we're all familiar with, shall we? I have been witnessing some pretty disturbing mistakes in our society lately.

The well known FaceBook status option.

I would very much appreciate if someone explained to me how 'romance' got so overemphasized? Suddenly, you're nothing if you're not sleeping or seeing someone. Ever notice the status change from "In a relationship" to "Single" and people commenting on how sorry they are? Oh boo hoo. SOMEONE decided it was time to move on to bigger better things, why apologize? I miss having relationships that end with "Hey it was a great thing while it lasted, have a great life" as opposed to the "We're breaking up. - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" conversations. With a world as connected as ours is today, with as many individuals searching for love to define their existence, why be miserable at a failed relationship? Some of our great grandparents, grandparents, or even parents, managed to SUCK IT UP and deal with relationship roller-coasters and some of us turned out just fine because of this. I mean, look at the options! 'Single', 'In a Relationship', 'Engaged', 'Married', 'It's Complicated', and my personal favorite, 'In an Open Relationship'. Ah, the awesome world of Facebook! I love the place, I spend hours on there not really DOING anything. WAY to make people confused with the status! If you're all mopey about being single, quit it. You're fine. :) could be worse man, you could be married with 12 kids and miserable. And if THATS the case... it could still be worse. Email me and I'll tell ya why.

Comment on relationships.
Have an excellent existence!

Military me this, order me around that

I've been thinking a lot about the military. Not the fact that I'm interested in enlisting! I passed that faze a loooong time ago. I've just been thinking about how all my love interests lately seem to have some type of affiliation to either branch of the military. Granted the majority were Marines, so Semper Fi, I guess, there was one that surpassed them all. I guess. Eh it doesn't matter.

Just seems like I'm stuck on this treadmill and I'm running. Fast. But not getting anywhere. I want to get somewhere. I'd love to. But I lack the direction and the motivation. This track is familiar and comforting. What to do? I think I'll sit back, enjoy the ride and NOT worry about it. Yeah, sounds good.

It's ok that young men like joining the military. I encourage everyone following their dreams, but must ALL my men do so? :( I hope not. I think it's ironic that the subject comes up in new relationships when not prompted. "So I'm thinking of enlisting" "Oh. *mumbles you too eh*"

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

You to be

There's nothing left to say that we haven't said,

I know there's still perfume to linger in your bed

but really, I don't wish to know about these things,

She'll soon replace my scent, my smile, my everything.

But it's okay, my dear, I mean it, really do...

I hope she does more than I did for you,

Because when clouds die, I know about my wish

And all I hope, my dear, is for you to be safe.

BOHICA

Sometimes I really wonder what the hell happened to the world. Okay, okay, maybe it's not the world that's been changing lately but myself. When the slightest little thing makes me think of drowning puppies. Seriously. Have you been in the position of ever fucking hating the sun for rising in the morning? When sleep cannot cover enough hours in the day even when you sleep more than 10 hours at a time, the conclusion to be drawn is that you're perpetually FUCKED.

Nothing's the same, everything keeps changing and life sucks major monkey balls, yeah-yeah, life's a bitch, buy a pen. When your best friend seems like a stranger and nothing looks the same around the world, I think it's time for a new life decision: say... a little afternoon coma? Yeah... sounds delightful!

Ok so right about now, you're thinking "Oh she got screwed and now she'll sit here and bitch and moan about it to me, someone who has other better shit to be doing" Well... yes. Bingo. I feel like maybe I should pour myself a glass of wine, before I begin my ranting [to seem like an actual columnist] but I gave blood yesterday and I shouldn't have any alcohol in my blood stream, but alas I digress.

I'm not really sure what the fuck brought this on, but I miss the days when everything was simple. Nothing was extremely complicated and people didn't come with a full list of disorders ans guess what: their personal pharmacies. Now the average person comes equipped with Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, Phobias, PTSD, Night Terrors, Schizophrenia, Dyslexia, and my new favorite one is Bi Polar Disorders. If you're REALLY lucky said person can have ALL of the above mentioned, then you really know you have a winner. Humor me, and lets go through these together.

Depression: Well in the ol' days (say.... 10 years ago) depression wasn't spread around like the flu. You had the blues, you got the hell over them. No... now you see 4 therapists, take Prozac, Paxil (head's up it has hooooorrible sideffects) , Xanax, Lexapro, Abilify, Cymbalta, and many many more pills to make the people uuuuuuuuuuuuuuber happy.

If that doesn't get you out of bed in the morning, maybe Anxiety will. These days people have Social anxiety disorders, obsessive compulsive disorders, separation anxiety, closeness anxiety, sleep anxiety, driving anxiety, anxiety to get out of bed in the fucking morning in the fear that hell a large Wiely Coyote anvil will drop from the ceiling and drop on said person's fucking head thus revealing the world of one more fear driven person who somehow is supposed to do well in society. HA!

Insomnia is my newest best friend. Who would consider that drinking 12 packs of sodas a day, a variety of energy drinks, and about 16 cups of coffee and 3 gallons of chocolate A DAY would ever cause the body to overdose on caffeine and NOT power off for sleep. Hmmmm.... Man, we really need doctors to explain it all for us...

Phobias, PTSD, Night Terrors, Schizophrenia ... I'm not even gonna go into that.

Dyslexia. Oh yes. My child CANNOT spell correctly or read as well as other kids, but nooooo he's not stupid or slow... no... he's... he's... he's.... uh.... DYSLEXIC! Yes! I got it! Right. Give me a break.

Last, but by far not least, Bi Polar Disorder! A.K.A MOOD SWINGS. It's basically JUST an excuse to be a complete jackass/bitch/asshole [ why not say it like it is, it's my blogg ] to whomever the hell you please whenever the hell you please and STILL have an excuse. Yeah. Ok. NO ONE treats me like a psycho chicken on fucking crack and gets to talk to me again. Sorry. Fix the chemicals in your head with... chocolate.... yes. Chocolate makes the wooorld go round.

Life sucks and everyone's special. No losers only winners, no normal weights, but anorexic fucks with more eating disorders than pounds and brain cells. Oopsie, have I gone too far? When is it time to get over ourselves and take responsibility for our actions and grow a pair? Hm?

OH! And just when you think it's over and you canot POSSIBLY be fucked anymore.... nah.... Bend Over. Here It Comes Again!

Electronic Love

Sometimes we struggle to find what we're looking for. Whatever insignificant ideas and thoughts we can get our hands on would be more than welcome to compile this endless list of things we so desperately 'need'. I guess in the endless struggle to survive and be happy, whatever that means, we sabotage ourselves and become somewhat emotionally hollow.

"Distance from the ones we love" because getting hurt, well... hurts, and not many things can help fix this hurt. But then, distance hurts in of its own and thus provides no real salvation, just being stuck in an endless loop of shitty relationships that are endless and fucking emotionally draining.

No, today's society is a bullshit area in which everyone lives electronically. Saying "I love you" is sent through emails and slapped on to pretty much every idiot with a pulse in order for the one who says it to not break the person's spirits by alluding to some kind of lesser connection than love. I think this bullshit generation of people needs to turn off the laptops and go outside for a change and maybe, just maybe go on a real date.

Yes, I sound like a hypocrite typing about this on an online blog, and not helping the case any, but if you think about it, the generation I am sadly a part of defines love through a stupid relationship. No. Love is much more than what these children know, it's supposed to be unconditional in its passion and actions, but this generation loves only if they are loved in return.

The lucky ones, the ones that managed to grab a hold of a love so strong and so limitless are the ones who quickly turned bitter and cynical after the piece of heaven slid through their fingers. In a society in which you're either loving the hell out of everyone or hating everything there is little room for any middle ground. Getting hurt makes one turn bitter and reserved, which is again, socially unacceptable for a society that is brought up on Prozac and Paxil (WHICH now is known for some bad-ass side-effects). It's fantastic.

Oh and there's the part of people that let go of a love that was unconditional for some 'wine and a moan' and then realized "Oh Shit! I'm a dumbass" when it was a bit too late to take it back. Again, my advice is turn off the cellphone, shut down the laptop, unplug the TV and GO OUT.

Remember going out? Like we did when we were children? No prompting just "Can so-and-so come out and play?" and ended up messing around playing hide and seek or tag until we couldn't stand anymore. Remember how well we slept as children? Now we're a world of insomniacs that inhale anything in the form of melatonin and Xanax . What has the world come to?

When you love someone you open yourself up to suffering, that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself the same way. Those are the risks. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly.

Advice of the Day

Be loved but never love.
Attach, but never combine.
Trip but never fall.
To be broken is better than shattered.
Tell him of your strength, but never of your past.
Be trustworthy but never trust.
Be cracked but never open.

Welcome to my blog. Everything is written in dust.